He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize