Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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