So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
