I wish life had little blips of pornography
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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