Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
