No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
