I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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