well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
