Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
