The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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