Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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