porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize