Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
