yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
