My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize