Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
