Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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