btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
