Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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