Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
