i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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