Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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