thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
