the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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