how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize