I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
