It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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