i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
how does that bad decision feel?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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