Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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