no you cant smoke seaweed
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
