Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!

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(214): View more from Texas

You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"

Fav 13 5425 1262
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(909): View more from California

Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.

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(515): View more from Iowa

It's blow job season.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.

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(219): View more from Indiana

Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me

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(208): View more from Idaho

Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.

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