As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
