Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
