I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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