the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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