gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize