So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I want to fling myself into the sun
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
