Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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