My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
