So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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