Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
