There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Did you just see the Batmobile???
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
