we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
sarcasm needs its own font
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize