I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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