Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
