Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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