Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
