dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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