It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you mean i was at the winter classic?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
