Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
