why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
