You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
