Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
