I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
