Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i now understand why vodka
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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