Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
