i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
