I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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