at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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