I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
