I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
