There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
