my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
