bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
