i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
