theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
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